The other day I saw someone, and at one point, they asked me a question with a lot of depth, and I stuttered when I responded. They said, ‘If you could give advice to your younger self, what advice would you give them?’.
Here are not one, but three pieces of advice I would give to my younger self. I hope you can relate to and find truth in my words.
The Philosophy of Youth:
The first thing I would tell my younger self is to be aware of the philosophy taught in schools.
Every school is bound by philosophies and moral codes based on certain schools of thought. Just because the legal system allows such codes of behavior and thinking, it doesn’t mean they’re morally or even ethically acceptable.
It’s more about the nature of what is actually true, instead of being forced to accept something as true. But I was young and unable to think critically about information that I’m accepting, that might inherently go against my value systems and ideals rooted in religious traditions and culture.
Practical Advice:
- Acquire more knowledge. Read more. Learn more. Be open to all fields of knowledge and thinking; be somewhat objective in this manner. The more you know, the less likely you are to be fooled by people and their intentions. You start to see through them and their behaviors. Like the old saying goes, knowledge is power, and I couldn’t agree more.
- Learn more about the religious and cultural traditions you come from. This way, at least you have a chance of intellectually defending yourself against secular intellectuals and their domination over our society and education system.
- Question what you learn without blindly accepting things. Learn about critical thinking, logic, and rhetoric; this will change how you perceive the world. You’ll see how people use language to convince you of ideas that are not necessarily true.
Choosing Your Circle:
The second thing I would tell my younger self is to beware of the friends you choose, as they shape who you become.
When we are young, we want to be liked and accepted by our peers. Our life revolves around what our friends think, and we seek their approval more than we seek approval from our parents.
We may even sometimes do things out of character just to fit in and be accepted. Do you remember the time when you wanted to be cool? What do you think that was?
Practical Advice:
- If you know who you are, you are less likely to be influenced by others. Take time to understand your values, interests, and what you want out of life.
- Choose your friends carefully. Interview them as if they are applying for a job. Find people who align with your values and interests. Birds of a feather flock together.
- Be a leader, not a follower. Instead of trying to fit in and be accepted, stay true to your values and make decisions based on what is right for you.
Embracing Impermanence:
The third and most important thing I would tell my younger self is quite similar to the first one but different.
I would remind my younger self of the nature of life and how impermanent everything is. Eventually, you will face death, and everything you thought was important becomes not so important.
Family, money, and business can be all taken away in a blink of an eye. You are not guaranteed tomorrow. Like the Sufis say, life is a love story, and the separation between You and God.
Practical Advice:
- Reflect on your values and what gives your life meaning and purpose. Engage in activities that align with your values and contribute positively to the world around you.
- Understand that attachment leads to suffering. Let go of attachments to material possessions, status, and outcomes. Practice detachment and accept that you cannot control life’s ever-changing nature.
- Practice mindfulness and presence through daily prayer and meditation to stay reflective and centered. The science of prayer can bring calmness to the mind, and connecting with your Lord will bring tranquility to the heart.
One More Thing:
Though I talk a lot about value systems and finding meaning and purpose, I believe ultimately meaning and purpose comes from worshiping your Lord and attaining closeness.
There is fundamentally one reality, as science will determine it to be true, based on logic and reasoning. Beyond science, we all feel this emptiness, and nothing in the world can fill this void.
There is an ongoing crisis we are experiencing as a society, with a huge percentage of people suffering from depression. Then you may pose the question: why do people get depressed?
While researchers say there are many factors to consider, I think the main reason people experience depression is because they feel alone in the world and believe that life lacks meaning and purpose. I think praying, meditating, and connecting with your Lord will deter such strong emotions, and ultimately eradicate depression.
